Rethinking Maternity Leave: Why 12 Weeks Aren’t Enough

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The state of parental leave in the United States is dismal, particularly when compared to other developed countries. We are struggling so hard to secure 12 weeks of paid parental leave for new parents, and that isn’t even enough.

I took three unpaid, 12-week maternity leaves under the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA). At the end of each one, I returned to work feeling unprepared, anxious, and exhausted. The minimum leave length we should be discussing is 16 weeks, not 12. I have the research and experience to back me up.

In this post, I’ll focus on two things that most new parents obsess about: baby’s sleep and feeding. I’ll also explore the implications for both the baby’s and mom’s health.

Before we dive in, a note on my perspective: my arguments are based on my experience as a married woman with a working partner. All three of my children were born healthy and full-term, and I planned to exclusively breastfeed for the first six months. 

I recognize that many families face more complex situations. Whether they are a single-parent family, the baby was born premature, or mom was recovering from a C-section, any additional hurdles would make the return to work more difficult and the need for more time more urgent.

Some of the considerations listed below won’t apply to formula-feeding families.

Baby sleep at 16 weeks versus 12 weeks

Baby sleep is probably the number one thing new parents obsess about. There’s even a whole industry geared towards improving it. Sleep deprivation isn’t just a cliché for new parents. It’s a challenge that can affect mental health, postpartum depression, marital relationships, productivity, and burnout, just to name a few. Here’s why a few extra weeks can result in a returning employee who is better rested and better equipped to return to work.

Baby sleep windows start to stretch out by 16 weeks

The 12-week mark is often seen as the tidy ending point for the newborn phase, sometimes called the fourth trimester. It’s the period when your baby is getting used to being a tiny human in the world, while you, the parent, are expected to transition seamlessly back to your previous life. The phase includes erratic sleep as your baby learns to tell night from day and their circadian rhythm starts to develop.

There’s no magic switch that flips at 12 weeks just because your baby is no longer technically considered a newborn. All newborn sleep challenges don’t vanish overnight. Twelve-week-old babies are just starting to produce melatonin, so some of that erratic sleep schedule is still normal.

It isn’t until about the 16-week mark that things start to settle somewhat. By 16 weeks, a baby is often able to sleep for five-hour windows at a time. That shift is game-changing from the just-a-couple-of-hours sleep windows you’d be getting before. When you’re only getting one to two hours of sleep at a time, you don’t ever enter REM sleep, the most restorative sleep necessary for human functioning.

But when you get to the point where you are getting at least a five-hour block of sleep, it feels closer to a night’s sleep. Not a great one, but one that helps you function better. A five-hour stretch, by the way, would allow you to get through two REM cycles. So even though your sleep is broken, it is more restorative than it would be at 12 weeks.

You can’t start sleep training before four months

Because of these developmental milestones, babies aren’t ready for sleep training until at least four months old.

For the uninitiated (you’re so lucky!), sleep training is a process for teaching your baby to fall asleep independently. They also learn to self-soothe when they wake up in the middle of the night, eliminating the need for a parent to intervene and soothe them back to sleep. A four-month-old baby still needs to wake up for night feedings. If your baby isn’t achieving that five-hour sleep window by four months, you can start nudging them toward it.

Before the four-month mark, you are entirely at the mercy of your baby’s feeding, sleep needs, and challenges. Any parent returning to work at 12 weeks has to navigate their first month back at work with a baby who is still very much depending on them for sleep. Frequent, unpredictable night wakings at this point are still the norm. And they will impact an employee’s performance at work.

I remember driving my children to daycare and myself to work in the early days after my maternity leave ended. I knew I was not well-rested enough to be driving the car safely, but I felt like I had no other choice. It was terrifying. A few more weeks of leave could have made a massive difference. My child’s sleep would’ve had a chance to settle, and I’d have had a fighting chance to return to work focused and energized.

Babies cannot begin falling asleep independently until 12 weeks

I texted my best friend in desperation when my youngest was eight weeks old. I’d been through this rodeo twice, and I knew he’d be fine when he started daycare. But I was so stressed that he couldn’t fall asleep on his own yet. I was spiraling, worrying about what that would mean for him when he went to daycare. Even though I knew that so much could and would change from weeks eight to 12.

I spent the last month, the last third of my maternity leave, distressed about this. How was I supposed to focus on work? In the back of my mind, I was wondering if my baby was screaming his little head off trying to fall asleep.

Please know that I am not faulting any daycare or daycare workers, nor am I accusing them of negligence in any way. I am deeply grateful to all the women who took care of our children when they were babies. They were incredible and helped us so much.

Caregiver-to-infant ratios were 1:4 in our daycare. If all the babies are on their own schedules, daycare teachers can’t rock and soothe every baby to sleep every time they need to take a nap. They only have so many hands. And babies still take several naps at 12 weeks.

Having a month where my baby had been practicing his self-soothing skills could have meant night and day for my ability to return to work focused and energized. Instead, I always had one part of my brain with my baby and wondering how he was doing.

Babies’ feeding at 16 weeks versus 12 weeks

Newborns, especially breastfed newborns, should be fed on demand during those first months. The newborn phase is a period of rapid growth and development. It’s punctuated by several growth spurts and massive developmental changes. Their little bodies instinctively know when they need food.

At 12 weeks, a breastfed newborn is typically eating every 2 to 3 hours, or eight to 12 times a day. My kids were still closer to the 2-hour window at 12 weeks, which meant they nursed 12 times a day, and 4 times during the workday. 

While the numbers are similar at 16 weeks, babies can start taking in a bit more food, and some of those initial growth spurts begin to slow down. Feeding windows also start to get longer. While my sons were closer to the two-hour feeding mark at 12 weeks, by 16 weeks, they were more in the three-hour range. A longer feeding window makes a huge difference in terms of how many bottles you have to pack and how many times a day you have to pump.

Waiting until 16 weeks can make feeding an easier challenge to navigate for a parent returning to work.

There’s a big growth spurt around 3 – 4 months

I remember being so frustrated about returning to work right around the time my baby was having a massive growth spurt. When a baby is going through a growth spurt, he wants to eat all the time. You feel like you are chained to your baby because as soon as you put him down, he wants to eat again.

These feeding sessions are super important. They make sure that your baby is getting the nutrition and calories he needs during this period of growth. And they also ensure the mother’s milk supply will be up for the task of feeding her bigger baby. Every time the baby feeds, it signals the body to make more milk. The breastmilk supply then increases to match the baby’s needs during the growth spurt.

So, I was sending my kids off while trying to navigate pumping, which was a problem for me. I produced tons of milk with no problems nursing, but I never, ever was able to produce enough milk pumping. I ended up having to supplement with formula for my older two. That wasn’t what I had planned, and it had me so stressed. (My younger one was a different story because he had feeding challenges.)

I got mastitis with my third right after I returned to work with my youngest. I struggled to meet his new demand while pumping, so I got an infection. It was super fun.

Waiting until 16 weeks would give mom and baby a chance to get through this growth spurt together before they have to navigate feeding apart. Mom will be better able to support her growing baby, and less drained from trying to match his needs while they’re separated.

You can’t introduce solids until four months at the earliest

Let’s be clear. Pediatricians recommend waiting until a baby is six months old to start solids. Four months is the earliest you can introduce solids, assuming your baby shows signs of readiness. But knowing you have solids in your back pocket as a feeding option when you return to work can be reassuring.

For breastfeeding moms, the baby is still dependent on breastmilk for nourishment in her first months back at work. That dependency can lead to more pumping stress.  

Waiting until 16 weeks can reduce pumping-related stress

Why am I harping so much about feeding and pumping? Because pumping sucks. And it comes with a lot of anxiety around timing, physical comfort, and maintaining milk supply. Moms who work on-site also have to navigate pumping spaces, milk storage, and transportation. 

Most employers have to provide accommodations to pumping employees. But most moms (82% according to a 2024 survey) feel that these breaks reflect poorly on them at work. Without a supportive workplace, many employees consider a career change after maternity leave.

Improved infant health

Extending maternity leave to 16 weeks can also benefit the baby and the mother’s overall health.

Babies receive their first round of vaccines at their two-month checkup, with a follow-up round at their 4-month checkup. Babies who start daycare at 12 weeks have some immunity to common childhood illnesses, but not full immunity.

Kids starting daycare get sick—a lot. In my youngest’s first month of daycare, he was out for a week with hand, foot, and mouth. Shortly after, he was back home with an ear infection. Those little immune systems are dealing with a host of new challenges. Having an extra round of shots to back them up would be helpful.

Plus, studies have found that families where a parent gets more than 12 weeks of paid leave are more likely to get their infants vaccinated. It makes total sense. It’s hard to find time to get out of work to get your baby to the pediatrician. They need seven visits in their first year, and only three of them happen in the first 12 weeks. 

Parents whose kids get sick a lot miss a lot of work. Four more weeks of leave could reduce the baby’s exposure to common daycare illness, or at least delay it until their immune systems are a bit stronger. That would potentially result in fewer sick day disruptions for parents in the months after they return to work.

Improved maternal health

The newborn period is a grueling slog. You’re trying to navigate a whole new reality that seems to change almost daily. And you’re doing it with not enough sleep while you also try to heal physically from the ordeal of growing and delivering your infant. No parent, especially no birthing parent, is going to be on their A-game 12 weeks postpartum. Let’s explore a few ways that stretching maternity leave to 16 weeks could result in happier, more productive employees returning to work.

Mothers are only just healed at 12 weeks postpartum

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recently upped its recommendation for continued postpartum care from six weeks to 12 weeks. Even though moms are through the most dangerous recovery period at six weeks, full recovery takes much longer. And there’s also no magic switch that says mom’s body is ready for action at 12 weeks. Giving moms a few extra weeks to rebuild their strength once they’re healed would enable them to return to work feeling less depleted.

Longer maternity leaves are proven to improve mental health outcomes

Studies have shown that longer parental leaves result in reduced risk of maternal mental illnesses like postpartum depression and anxiety, and even general burnout. One study found that symptoms of depression decreased 6-7% for every additional week of leave. So a 4-week bump would reduce depressive symptoms by an impressive 24-28%. 

Those conditions not only affect an employee’s health. They also affect an employee’s performance. A few extra weeks would allow the fog of sleep deprivation and hormones to dissipate. And it could help new mothers increase their focus and productivity once they return to work.

Babies can’t get on the schedule until after 12 weeks

@waves.n.wishes

#Meme #newmom #premiemom #sleeptraining #babyroutines #raisingbabies #sleepschedule

♬ original sound – Megan

A baby with a predictable feeding and sleeping schedule is a wonderful thing. Though they’re still a lot of work, that work exists within an established rhythm that parents can plan their lives around. My youngest didn’t get on a set schedule until he was nearly a year old because of his feeding issues. It made life so much more complicated. Schedules are game-changing.

Babies are all about eating and sleeping on demand until they reach 12weeks. For parents about to return to work, that uncertainty generates significant stress. What do I tell childcare about their schedule when they don’t have one yet? How will I catch up on errands and chores on the weekend, and maybe even plan something enjoyable, when I don’t know when they’ll be eating and sleeping?

Going back to work after welcoming a new baby is hard, no matter how long you get for parental leave. But removing a massive piece of uncertainty from the puzzle would make it much easier for mom and baby to adapt to their new situations.

Let’s change the conversation on minimum maternity leave

I know this argument may feel useless. We’ve been fighting so long for 12 weeks’ paid leave in this country, and we still don’t have it. But I think it’s worth redefining the minimum length of maternity leave. That way, if we ever do get it, it’s enough to meet the needs of both mothers and babies. 

Increasing the length of maternity leave from 12 to 16 weeks would provide enormous health benefits for mothers and infants. Those health benefits would translate into better performance for working moms.

Babies need those few extra weeks to develop feeding, sleep, and immunity that better prepare them and their parents for separation. And we might just get more moms staying in the workforce instead of feeling like they can’t continue to operate in a system that doesn’t support them.

Does your business or publication serve parents and families? I’d love to work with you! Contact me about how I can help you reach your goals by meeting their needs.

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